


It's My Party (And I'll Cry If I Want To)

by CWMaddy



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Cheryl is not okay, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Josie is a great friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 03:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9697490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CWMaddy/pseuds/CWMaddy
Summary: It's Cheryl's 18th birthday, and for the first time ever, she's got the day all to herself.She doesn't like it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Melanie Martinez's song "Pity Party". Go ahead and listen to it while you read, it'll make this hurt more.

_Happy birthday to you..._

What a miserable day. 

_Happy birthday to you..._

How was everyone smiling? 

_Happy birthday dear Cheryl ~~and Jason~~..._

Couldn't they see she was suffering?

_Happy birthday to you._

Couldn't they see that she was alone?

Josie approached Cheryl with a sympathetic smile and sat down next to her, close enough that the two girls were shoulder to shoulder. The flashing lights that were an array of blinding colors danced off her skin, further illuminating the singer's beauty. 

"Come on, girl. It's your big day! The grand one-eight! Aren't you even a little bit excited?" She had to speak loud over the pulsing music, some trashy over-played pop song about young love. 

Cheryl blinked once. Twice. Her face was of smooth marble, one crack and she'd crumble indefinitely.

"No," she said. 

Josie frowned. "You haven't even touched your cake. I thought vanilla was your favorite!" 

Wrong. Vanilla was Jason's favorite. She'd always preferred strawberry, and so whenever she and her brother shared a milkshake at Pop Tate's, that's the kind they'd always ordered. Jason always put her first. 

It was only fair that today she do the same.

When they'd been younger, they had had two cakes for two times the Blossoms. One vanilla, and one strawberry. But there was no need for two cakes now. 

Cheryl stared down at the uneaten piece of cake, white and fluffy with thick velvety frosting to top it all off. Jason adored lots of frosting. Her marble fractured, and a tear slid down her cheek. 

"Oh, honey." Josie pulled Cheryl into her side, hugging her tight and shielding her from the outside world.

The cruel world that had taken her brother from her, and then moved on like he'd never been there in the first place. They healed while she broke more and more with every day that she woke up to an empty room next door to her own; every morning that she drove to school with nobody by her side. 

They never had to share anything as kids, their family had the money to buy them a pair of whatever they could have wanted. Toys, pets, clothes, sharing just wasn't a burden that was put upon the Blossom Twins. 

It was because of this privilege that Cheryl never minded growing up sharing their birthday. In fact, she loved it. 

And now it just didn't feel right having such an important moment to herself. 

Cheryl found herself being led to the bathroom, tucked into Josie's side all the way there. When they entered, Josie checked all the stalls to make sure they were clear of people. 

Josie sat the two of them on the ground, and they stared silently at each other for a long moment. 

"It's okay to hurt, you know," Josie reminded her. 

Only then did Cheryl allow herself to shatter. She let out a heart-wrenching sob, and gripped onto her best friend with all of her strength. Josie rubbed soothing circles into her back as she cried.

She didn't try to shush Cheryl, didn't try to tell her that it was okay. Because she knew it wasn't, and had no idea when or even if it ever would be again. 

The Blossom girl had lost half of herself, and with every passing moment another bit of her was chipped away. For she was a twin without a brother to show for it. 

Cheryl was well aware that her expensive party dress was getting ruined, but she couldn't have given less of a damn. It was too gaudy anyway, Jason would have laughed and teased her mercilessly for wearing it. She wasn't sure why she'd chosen it in the first place, honestly. 

Josie began quietly humming to Cheryl, calming the suffering girl enough that her sobs eventually turned into hiccups. She ran her slender fingers through her friend's ginger curls as she spoke her next words.

"Jason wouldn't want you to be upset on such an important day as this." 

Cheryl pulled away abruptly. "What do you know about what Jason would have wanted?!" She snapped. 

Josie wasn't phased by her sudden ferocity. Cheryl didn't look very threatening in this state, not with her leaking mascara and hopeless expression. 

"I know he loved you," she said. "I know he wanted only the best for you. He wouldn't settle for less." 

Cheryl wanted to believe that, she really did. But if it were true, then Jason would have been smart enough to realize that he was the best thing she'd ever have. 

"Then why did he leave me?" She whispered brokenly. 

"That I can't answer," Josie replied. 

They sat there for some time after that. The party outside raged on, no one seeming to notice that the birthday girl herself wasn't living it up with the rest of them. 

No, instead she was cowering on the bathroom floor, with the pieces of her heart scattered before her. And she was in no mood to put them back together again. 

Cheryl had felt pain before. She was well aware of what it was like. But no broken bones or chronic headaches could compare to the gaping, bloody wound inside of her that had torn its way through to her very core, starting after her family had been called in to identify Jason's body. 

One day, she hoped, she might grow accustomed to this pain. Maybe she might even be able to think past it. To rise above it. 

Right now though, this hole deep within her raged like an inferno during the summer. There was no way around this, she could only face it and walk straight through. 

And by God, was it going to hurt like hell.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd say I'm sorry but....I never am.


End file.
